I've tried to do this in my community: Challenges faced.
- People unwilling to commit to an event > 7 days in advance
- People flaking even when they do
- Unreciprocated $100s of dollars spent is non sustainable, and lowkey feels kinda like buying others friendship
- People in urban places are living in smaller and smaller spaces. Though counterbalanced by many nicer apartment buildings have amenities spaces that help.
- mixing circles -- people are often isolating their friend groups into niches (pickelball friends, church friends, D&D friends...)
- And IMO the overarching issue in America that creates so many problems -- Everyone is so overworked that they don't have the energy/capactity to do good things: Exercise, and hosting parties being two examples.
> - mixing circles -- people are often isolating their friend groups into niches (pickelball friends, church friends, D&D friends...)
I was raised in a social environment where mixing circles was normal and it took me a while to realize that that's not how Americans do things. It certainly creates a lot of difficulties connecting with others, and at least for myself I am a lot less motivated to get to know people better when I'm the X or Y buddy they reach out to when the people they actually want to hang out with are unavailable.
> - People unwilling to commit to an event > 7 days in advance
You want N people. Assume 1/2 won't show. Invite 2N people. Either ask people to bring a bit of food, or provide food for 1.5xN and if you get only N then you'll have leftovers.
> - Unreciprocated $100s of dollars spent is non sustainable, and lowkey feels kinda like buying others friendship
If you have the disposable invome for it then it's its own reward, and you're not buying friends: you're helping them make new friends with your other guests, and this is something they'll appreciate about you. They might or might not reciprocate because as we've seen in this thread, many are not into hosting.
> - mixing circles -- people are often isolating their friend groups into niches (pickelball friends, church friends, D&D friends...)
Mixing is half the point!!
> - And IMO the overarching issue in America that creates so many problems -- Everyone is so overworked that they don't have the energy/capactity to do good things: Exercise, and hosting parties being two examples.
That's what long weekends are for, so host a party on a day in a long weekend.
See my last point, they're too busy/tired. 1/2 the people bring chips and salsa they picked up last minute on the way there.
> Mixing is half the point
People no longer want mixing. Anyone who disagrees about anything they believe is "toxic" or microviolent.
> That's what long weekends are for
People already maxxed want rest, isolation, catchup a breath on the very few long weekends. Those who do happen to have capacity want social media viable things to show off their status to their friends.
> People no longer want mixing. Anyone who disagrees about anything they believe is "toxic" or microviolent.
Well, maybe some are like that. They'll stop coming to your parties, or you'll stop inviting them, or you already know they are like this so you won't even invite them. The rest will keep showing up -- they're the fun ones!
> See my last point, they're too busy/tired. 1/2 the people bring chips and salsa they picked up last minute on the way there.
And that is fine, at least the first time. People learn and will not bring chips and salsa afterwards. Plus, the goal of the shared dinner is to have people over, not to enjoy fancy meals.
I don’t get the commit thing. I see it too. “I’ll see how work is and let you know” or something like it. My view is always that an advance plan reduces rather than increases anxiety.
See, that's your problem. You don't throw a house party because you want to go to other house parties. You do that because and only because, you want to throw a house party.
I can understand how you'd read that I dont throw house parties from a single HN post. The greater context is I've tried variously over the past decade, spent 1000s on parties, and have found a recurring negative impact on my own well being because I outlay of my resources (mental, energetic, monetary) in a dissipative way that is not poured back into me. I am a zero sum being and so the cost to me is realistically taken away from other places I can maintain my own health, sanity, and other desirable outcomes.
Maybe the truth is I dont want to throw a house party -- I want the outcomes of a house party... Friends, community, being known, meeting someone who might become a friend/spouse, not being alone on isolating holidays (like thanksgiving / christmas / NYE) .
Yeah, that's one of those "tough pills to swallow". Everyone of course wants everything and they want to give up nothing. Prioritizing/triaging your own desires is a very tough skill to build, but if you can try to figure out "what do I want" and "what am I willing to trade to get what I want", you will probably find happiness in short order. If you genuinely don't want to spend the cash for a house party, don't do it. If you just want to run it cheaply, run it cheap: I recommend simple card games (Flip 7 is $10 and works with big groups) and some cheeeeeaaap potato chips, with water as the beverage (or ask people to bring their own whatever if they want). Tell them you're here to host games and chatting. Host, keep hosting, and get picky about who you invite back.
Because at the root of it is judgement and taste, something we are well aware they lack when it comes to the things I listed, yet somehow we're going to say they understand the broader pros and cons of AI well enough such that their use of it as a pejorative is damning of what AI is actually worth.
I sympathize with the scariness of never being able to own a house. But I also think between Automation and remote work, what we really need is to encourage the development of like 50-100 new tier 1 cities in the US. Part of the major cost is the fact that you have to deal with the old before you can get to the new in these cities.
Whereas a field 5 miles off a major highway? I bet you could build a city, a better one, for half the cost.
There's a form of ageism or youth worshipping going on that seems absurd to me. (More broadly than this article, but this is what triggered it for me)
Young people by definition (Sub 16 years old in this case), by definition, lack experience. There's a reason they can't drink, drive, vote, give consent, or be held legally accountable for their actions (the same way an adult can).
So why should I give a flying $TOKEN about what they think of it?
This comment is itself, ageism. If you're willing to discard the opinion and values of such a large number of people, I don't think your opinion is well informed or considered enough to be worth anyone's time.
I would sooner listen to the children than anyone who takes this position, because my experience has taught me to distrust listening to anyone who demands respect just for existing.
For a larger proportion, but more or less the same absolute. Plus they have far fewer skills and relatable web of experiences to synthesize what AI is.
Yes they more rapidly synthesize new information, but they also lack the crystalized wisdom to apply judgement, cross domain expertise etc.
There needs to be tit-for-tat fixes to the way the public and police interact.
If we cannot say mean things under extreme duress, then they shouldn't be allowed to lie/mislead to extract evidence. (The inverse is illegal afaik -- to lie to an officer)
I also don't care the exact cpu instructions my compiler emits. In fact I have no idea what the "stuff" it emits means (beyond the most elementary)... That doesnt stop me from creating very useful software that maybe even billions of people rely on (once you include the users of products that use our software)
- People unwilling to commit to an event > 7 days in advance
- People flaking even when they do
- Unreciprocated $100s of dollars spent is non sustainable, and lowkey feels kinda like buying others friendship
- People in urban places are living in smaller and smaller spaces. Though counterbalanced by many nicer apartment buildings have amenities spaces that help.
- mixing circles -- people are often isolating their friend groups into niches (pickelball friends, church friends, D&D friends...)
- And IMO the overarching issue in America that creates so many problems -- Everyone is so overworked that they don't have the energy/capactity to do good things: Exercise, and hosting parties being two examples.
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