Why would you - EVER - willingly use e-SIM?! At least use an OpenEIUCC-compatible adapter!

>And despite all of this, I am still stuck playing IT boy with my parents’ computers because they refuse to use an operating system that isn’t complete dogshit.

There is no such operating system.

macOS isn't perfect but it is decidedly less shitty than Windows.

Linux has its issues but it's still less terrible than Windows.

Anything modern (as in, released within the, let's say, last month)