Winning is having no enemies.

Fascinating idea. On individual level I wouldn't agree, because whenever you take a strong stance about something you also tend to create enemies. Same for small groups of people. On state level however, it does sound more reasonable and should be the overall principle at least. Scale matters.

Different question - same answer.

Just look at history, another way to judge a leader is to look at how much effort they put into protecting themselves from their loving countrymen.

How many body guards did Churchill have ? How many body soldiers were allocated to guarding Hitler ? Why did the Kings of Europe all build castles ?

> destroying your enemies

This is psychopathic.

You are wrong, this is the mindset that allows such atrocities to become possible, even from non-psychopaths. Sadly, to a lot of people, there are not "humans" but "enemies", and once that's given, any atrocity follows.