Swede here, I used to host a lot of dinners and parties.
But then i realized that it was mostly me who hosted them and the few times i got invited there was an agreement that guest chip in on the costs or that it was a potluck kind of thing.
Made me regret spending all that time and money on the parties i hosted.
What do you regret exactly? I have found that friendships are rarely balanced in that sense. Sometimes you spend more (effort, worry, money) but it's also for your own benefit.
The neoliberal transactional lifestyle of compartmentalizing everything from work to emotions to social relationships combined with endless entertainment in your pocket makes the social event feel like a drag that you need to get though for the sakes of socializing.
Sounds unfortunate but I don't think there's anything to regret, you spent time and money no one else was spending but you still (hopefully) created positive experiences in return.
It is not about money it about that you start to feel like they take you for granted when every time we did plan a party or dinner, me hosting it was always the best or only option according to the group. If it was a few times then it would not be an issue but systematically it always being me hosting takes the fun away.
I now have an other friend group and I have gotten tired with cooking for a x-amount of people.
Indeed. The way it worked for me if its at home, I am fine with cost of grocery and some drinks, it wasn't that much for me and cooking is fun. On the other hand if party is in restaurant / bar I bailed because cost is too much whether its each paid for their food and drinks or total cost divided by number of people.
But then i realized that it was mostly me who hosted them and the few times i got invited there was an agreement that guest chip in on the costs or that it was a potluck kind of thing.
Made me regret spending all that time and money on the parties i hosted.