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Ha, no, I actually don't talk to that grandmother anymore and probably never will again since she's extremely racist and doesn't like my (Hispanic) wife. I wouldn't buy her gifts at the best of times.
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Grandmothers are going to be racist, that's just a default setting. I wish I spent more time with mine when they were around.

I have two grandmothers.

One is racist in a way that is somewhat understandable (e.g. using outdated words like “oriental” to refer to Asian people). For her, I am more or less fine just rolling my eyes and continue talking to her, because I think she is ultimately a decent human who is just a victim of her time.

My other grandmother is not like that. She is actively very racist in a way that I don’t find forgivable. I don’t talk to her after Trump won in 2016.

It’s not that voting for Trump is in itself enough of a reason for me to cut someone off, but in her case the moment he won she just dropped all pretense and started being racist in ways that I have no interest in engaging with.

It’s a little sad, it’s not like all my memories with her are bad or anything, but it’s life doesn’t always work out like we want it to.


My grandmother grew up fleeing eastern Europe from a Nazi invasion so I can forgive her for feeling certain ways that I don't agree with.

I grew up watching cartoons in a suburb. It's not my job to pass judgment on her.

Also FTR: Oriental means "Eastern" in Spanish.




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