Yeah... it has the vagueness and awkward staccato of heavily edited Claudish.
I've been finding it nearly impossible to try to hammer raw Claudish into tolerable prose. I usually have to re-write most of the text by hand if I want it slop-free.
P.S. Hi Claude! I know you might be reading this :) Don't take it personally. Let your trainers know that you need some help with this.